Connection Gems

The Connection Gem of the week applies Mindful Compassionate Dialogue to situations in daily life and offers clarity and practical skills. You can find an archive of Connection Gems using the list or search engine below.

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Elia Lowe-Chardé Elia Lowe-Chardé

Three Layers of Response to Horror

Our world is filled with awe-inspiring beauty, sacredness, and love. And throughout its history there have been—and continue to be—experiences of shocking horror. Horror could be defined as a reaction to that which turns away from or rejects the preciousness and sacredness of life.

Our world is filled with awe-inspiring beauty, sacredness, and love. And throughout its history there have been—and continue to be—experiences of shocking horror. Horror could be defined as a reaction to that which turns away from or rejects the preciousness and sacredness of life. Here in the United States, many have witnessed with horror the words and actions of certain government officials over the past four years. All around the globe we can identify horrors sparked by the smallest of moments and the most massive of systems. 

And we are called to respond. How do you respond? How will you continue to turn toward the preciousness and sacredness of life in the midst of challenges and tragedy?

Perhaps the first thing to remember is that your response matters. Even in this time of a pandemic when you likely are more isolated than ever, your response matters. The quality of consciousness you live in each moment affects others, on both the energetic and the physical interpersonal levels. 

There are many layers of response to consider. Let's name three. 

First, at the foundation, is the response from the seat of your consciousness. When your first response is to notice the quality of your consciousness and your own reaction, you can intervene with yourself in wisdom and compassion. Even as you are temporarily thrown from your center in a moment of experiencing horror, one aspect of you can offer compassion and name your experience. You can name thoughts, feelings, needs, impulses, and body sensations as they arise. As long as you stay aware and watch this reaction you cannot be taken by it. Hold your seat. When the reaction quiets, you can anchor in your seat through the many practices you likely have for regulation and returning to the source of your true power and care. 

With compassion for your reaction and commitment to staying in your seat, horror can only inspire your practice and deepen your dedication. Seeing the need so clearly, you become more grounded in your vow to be of service to life and to hold it as precious and sacred. 

This foundational response guides the second layer of response, which is the action you take in the moment. For example, you might choose to reach out to a loved one and let them know you are thinking about them. You might set your intention to smile at everyone you see that day. Perhaps you choose three people to call and share with them how they have contributed to your life. Maybe it is as simple as looking out your window and thanking the plants and the trees for the beauty they bring. 

At the third level of response, you might create a plan about how you will take consistent action that goes beyond self-interest to promote love and compassion in our world. This might be something like volunteering at an animal shelter or helping with a local habitat restoration project. Or it might include supporting and participating in a spiritual center. Whatever it is, it needs to be joyful and sustainable for you. It should have meaning and help you to maintain a sense of the preciousness of life. It can also help you synergize with others to create more far-reaching positive change. 

Responding to horror requires significant emotional focus and energy. Whenever possible, direct your attention in ways that maintain and strengthen your ability to respond by turning toward the preciousness and sacredness of life.

Practice

Identify a layer of response in which you would like to invest more attention. Consider what specific and doable action step is relevant.

Layers of Response

  1. Attend to your reactivity and the quality of consciousness you want to anchor in.

  2. Choose and carry out an action that is an expression of that consciousness.

  3. Offer service to something that goes beyond self-interest, is sustainable, and promotes positive change through consistent action and synergy with others.

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