Practice Appreciation: Skill 2: Express What's Working

Each MCD Relationship Competency identifies 6 Skills, along with specific practices for learning each.

For more context, see Skill 1: Express the definition and purpose of appreciation.

Skill 2: Express what’s working

Creating the habit of noticing what’s working is essential to living a connected and sacred life. This week use the format below to practice noticing what’s working at least once every day until the next Connection Gem arrives. 

PRACTICE:

Observation: What exactly did the other person do or say that met needs for you?

EXAMPLE: My spouse brought me breakfast in bed this morning.

Thought: What interpretation or meaning do you make of the other person’s behavior?

EXAMPLE: They love me and know what’s nourishing for me.

Feelings: What feelings came up for you when your needs were met? Use the feelings list, try to use new vocabulary.

EXAMPLE:  Content, pleased, touched

Needs: What needs were met?  Use the needs list.

EXAMPLE: Support, love, care

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Boundaries for Healthy Differentiation

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How to Hear Another’s Unmet Needs without Defending