You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me.

Connection Gems

Practice Relationship Repair: Skill 6: Commit to new specific and doable actions to prevent disconnect in future similar situations

Dissolving the Inner Critic around Spiritual Ideals

Practice Relationship Repair: Skill 5: Express caring and associated feelings like regret, warmth, etc. when your behavior doesn’t meet needs

3 Points of Focus for Personal Transformation

Practice Relationship Repair: Skill 4: Maintain focus on feelings and needs related to the specific stated neutral observation of the behavior that didn’t meet needs

Healthy Differentiation with Another’s Reactivity

Practice Relationship Repair: Skill 3: When you notice the impulses or behaviors that involve defending, justifying, or making others wrong/bad, call a pause to engage your anchor

How to Make Space for Everyone’s Pain

Practice Relationship Repair: Skill 2: Engage an effective strategy for working with the four alarms before beginning repair dialogue

How to Ask for Space

Practice Relationship Repair: Skill 1: Distinguish effective repair from common tragic strategies for repair

Groundedness and Practice in the face of Political Tragedy

Dissolving Shame Regarding Particular Needs

Practice Life-Serving Boundaries: Skill 6: Establish a boundary with body language, behavior, or words any time that you would like to change or disengage from an interaction

Self-Pity vs. Self-Empathy

Practice Life-Serving Boundaries: Skill 5: Identify the signs and symptoms of behavior in yourself or others that don’t support boundaries

Sexual Expression: Discerning Needs & Strategies

Practice Life-Serving Boundaries: Skill 4: Identify current limiting beliefs that interfere with boundary setting and the expansive beliefs that will support boundary setting

Decisions in Partnership: Talk About It or Let It Go?

Practice Life-Serving Boundaries: Skill 3: Articulate 3 non-negotiable boundaries that you hold in any relationship

The Nuances of Asking for and Giving Advice

Practice Life-Serving Boundaries: Skill 2: Identify 3 types of useful boundaries

Build a Bridge Before Crossing

Practice Life-Serving Boundaries: Skill 1: When saying “no” to someone’s request, identify the needs to which you are saying “yes”

A Simple Practice with Reactivity

Practice Needs-Based Negotiation: Skill 6: Choose 1-3 strategies from the brainstorm list and refine into specific and doable agreements

How to Shift from Demands to Requests

Practice Needs-Based Negotiation: Skill 5: Engage creative brainstorming…

Connection Gem Archive

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