Is this you?
This series is for you if you identify as a woman and want to be more fully grounded in your truth and speak from it with strength and confidence.
In facing difficult situations or even your own high standards, you can sometimes have a whole inner committee of thoughts pulling you in different directions. Trying to make sense of it can be tiring work. You need a break from internal processing that goes in circles and self-analysis that leaves you feeling disconnected.
Or, you find it easier to feel and express compassion with others than with yourself. You can name other's needs before identifying your own. You have given a lot to others and are ready to give some gifts to yourself. But it's difficult to know what you really need and how you thrive, especially when social conditioning exhorts you to maintain an external focus.
Perhaps you pride yourself on being direct and honest, but then you find that others don’t welcome your honesty. You want to be heard, but instead see that others disconnect and check out. Or, they pay attention in the moment, but over time they drift away or break agreements.
Or, perhaps, you want to speak up more often and be able to communicate what’s true for you. You would like a better understanding of your needs, how to make requests, and set clear boundaries.
This is for you if you want better communication skills and to express yourself from a place of greater self-awareness, self-responsibility, and strength.
What's it all about?
Self-empathy is the fourth relationship competency in Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD). Self-empathy is an essential ingredient in a thriving relationship. To have a loving and conscious relationship with another, you also need to have a loving and conscious relationship with yourself.
Self-empathy gives you relief from internal conflict, criticism, and doubt. You learn to greet each part of your experience with compassion and acceptance, which gives you access to wise discernment and effective action.
Self-empathy is a skillful means for taking responsibility for your experience. When you can sort experience into categories, such as observations, thoughts, feelings, needs, and requests, it is easier to meet it with equanimity and compassion. In addition, it enables you to stay true to your values and communicate clearly.
In this series, you will be introduced to the process of self-empathy in the framework of Mindful Compassionate Dialogue. Here are the specific aspects of self-empathy we will address:
Identify the differences between self-empathy and other responses to your experience
Learn to identify and make use of an anchor
Translate self-critical thoughts into feelings, needs, requests or life-serving boundaries.
Understand the importance of being able to direct focused and sustained attention on that which supports a warm and compassionate relationship to experience.
Honest expression is the third relationship competency in Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD). It is a tool for finding and clarifying your voice - expressing what’s authentic.
Honest expression is based on the intention to connect through self-awareness and self-responsibility. It is about discerning which aspects of experience in a given moment are both true and important for the interaction at hand.
Honest expression is also a means of taking responsibility for your experience by expressing it with intention and in a way that facilitates connection.
Honest expression is a rich and subtle practice that empowers you to live in alignment with your deepest values. It often feels vulnerable, as it requires awareness and direct expression of what matters most and explicit acknowledgment of interdependence through specific and doable requests along with clear boundaries. It helps you to truly collaborate with others while fully maintaining autonomy and self responsibility.
Some basic aspects of honest expression include the following:
Awareness of your intention when you express something
Awareness of the quality of connection in a given moment, both with yourself and another
How to take responsibility for reactivity by learning to recognize it, name it aloud and pause to get grounded before continuing to engage in dialogue
Taking responsibility for thoughts, speech, and reactivity by discerning the difference between observations and interpretations.
Expressing feelings and needs with full self responsibility by making specific and doable requests of yourself and/or another
Knowing the difference between universal needs and strategies for how needs are met
Communicating specific and doable requests as the starting point of collaboration
What to expect?
In this eight week series, you will engage in conceptual learning, group discussion, experiential learning, and skills practice. Practice exercises will be done individually, in pairs, and in small groups. You will use examples from your own life in practice exercises.
Registration is limited to 16 participants. Some will be new to Wise Heart and others will have taken previous courses with Wise Heart.
Details
Trainer: LaShelle Lowe-Chardé
When: Thursdays, 6:30pm - 8:30pm, September 7, 14, 28 October 5, 12, 19 November 9, 16, 2023
Where: Multnomah Friends Meeting, 4312 SE Stark St, Portland, OR 97215; 1st floor room 12
Contribution: $250
Please email us if financial contribution is the only thing preventing you from joining us.
Registration
***SOLD OUT***